Episode 8 - 'Black & White'

Introduction by Al Capone

Karl enters the living room to discover Chas weeping frustratedly in front of the TV.  Apparently the remote is still broken and Chas can't work out how to use the buttons on the TV itself.  Karl stares at them too (they are entirely regular buttons, labelled as usual) and declares that it was clearly designed to be encoded so no man should ever understand it.  However, Chas is in luck because Karl is a technical genius and he'll fix the remote.

Karl takes the remote back to his room calling Karen to come and be his assistant.  Karl flicks a switch and his bedroom changes into a surgical theatre.  He performs surgery on the remote, asking Karen for a hacksaw, a blow-torch and an inflatable sheep.

Finally Karl declares the surgery a success and brings the remote back to Chas.  It is now the size of a cow and needs wheels.

His work done, Karl goes to bed.  When he wakes up, the world is black and white.

He goes to the kitchen where Phil is fixing some coffee.  Karl says that the world is black and white.  Phil nods and says, 'Again.'

They go through to the living room where Chas is watching the TV, which is resplendent in glorious Technicolour.  Suddenly Karl has an idea and uses the remote to turn down the colour on the TV.  As the TV becomes black and white, the world becomes colour.  Then Chas ciciously attacks Karl and turns the colour back up on the TV, rendering the world black and white again.

Karen comes downstairs dressed as a gangster's moll.  She complains that the world is black and white again.  Karl blames Chas, but Phil blames Karl for using his toolkit again.  Karl says there's nothing to be done about it now and he has to go to work.  He gets into his gas repair van and crashes at the first traffic lights he comes to.

He returns home to discover Phil and Karen have turned the house into a speak easy, with gangsters illicitly drinking liquor from tea cups.  Phil wanders the house with Karen in one hand, and a Tommy Gun in the other.

As Karl tries to work out what's going on, Al Capone comes in and shoots up the place, saying to Phil that Surbiton isn't big enough for the both of them.  Karl takes cover as the two fire their guns at each other and miss wildly.

While Phil assembles a group of heavies to go and take Capone out, Karl decides things have to stop.  He goes to try to wrest the remote from Chas.  Chas however has built a tall fence around himself, the TV and the remote, topped with razor wire.  Germans armed with machine guns guard the corners from small towers.

Karl finds a group of World War II pilots in the kitchen and asks for their help.  When they go into the living room the Scottish one who was talking about his girl back home goes stir crazy and makes a dash for the fence where he is mercilessly gunned down by the Germans.

The other World War II chaps decide the only way is to tunnel in.  Using the other sofa as cover they dig a tunnel under the fence and come up under the remote.

However, Al Capone and his boys are hiding out in the remote, ready to launch a Trojan Horse style attack on Phil.  There is a battle between the RAF boys and the gangsters.  As it rages on Karl sneaks past, deep into the electronics of the remote.

Finally he comes to a small hamster cage where a hamster runs round in a wheel.  Carefully he removes the hamster.  Suddenly all the lights inside the remote die.